A Whole New Year

2010 New Year, I spent this day at Kampar with my colleagues and friends, but still feel like something is missing. Kampar New town is full of people, waiting for the year 2010 to come. When I saw couples holding each other and wish each other Happy New Year, I feel so lonely.


The next week, I have spent a whole noon with my best friend. She has some relationship problem and I can't do anything but to tell her not to think so much. I feel myself is so much lucky because I got a bf that love me all the time, missing me at somewhere in the world. We live inside each other's heart, never leave each other alone in the world.


The 3rd week of the sem break, I come back kampar again. There will be a lion eyes dotting ceremony for utar wushu club at utar. This week I have to cycle to utar everyday. Although this is quite tired, but it is good for diet. Other than that, I also have to go back work because there is not enough staff for 2 cyber cafes and perhaps I am the only one that they can find here to do the work.  To me, it is the best solution of thinking nonsense. Somehow, I have a sleepness night because I have some misunderstanding with my bf. Guess I have said the wrong thing that has hurt him so deep. No matter what, I can't force him to make a choice between family and lover, although I hope to be more selfish than him. Like he said, the love to family and lover are different. To me, love to their lover is suppose to be unique, everyone would like to be the number one and the only one in each other's heart. How could I jealous? Maybe I will never get a chance to be his number one until the day we get married, or seperate, who knows? What am I thinking now? I also don't know, may be this is what we called feeling unsecure when somebody is not around.

It seems like I catch a cold, my nose is blocked, start coughing, tired all the time. Still need to go kl with my aunt this saturday, don't know I can come back on time for the lion dance. I hate to be alone because I will think nonsense but somehow, I enjoy to be alone because I just do what I wanna do. I think thats the difference of staying at home and outside the home.