玩电玩的生活

上个学期还过得蛮好的，轻轻松松，读书的时候读书，做工的时候做工，感觉还不错。

这个学期开始把时间排的满满的，读书、做工和玩电玩。说实在的，自己还不是很习惯这崭新的生活，总是觉得时间不够花。是自己的能力不足呢，还是爱面子而逞强？玩电玩嘛。。。对它一窍不通。不管我多努力的去练习，总是觉得自己做得不够好，还会拖累别人。很多时候我都会在想：不如退出吧？我一直不断的在强逼着自己去玩，是为了什么？这无形中带给自己很大的压力，也不知道要如何去面对自己，一心只想逃避这压力。

新的学期，有着很多功课要赶，有太多的事情要处理，可惜我什么也很难办成。如果说我是要证明我的存在价值而把全部的责任往肩上杠，你说得没错。我所做的一切，就是要证明我也可以和你一样有本事。人不是万能的，可我就是要当个万能的人。这个嘛。。。发白热梦就好了，别放在心上吧。也只能这样说服自己熬过这关吧。。。

To be Loved Again

Am I just being too sensitive? Or I am just being too naive?
I admit that I am an attention seeker, not from anybody but you
Only you that I care about, I hope for the equal amount of attention that I have given to you
Only you, my beloved one, has the right to interfere my emotion, my mind, my soul
And that is only you  I care about, nobody else
Is it a necessary to leave me alone and do your own stuff?
You might think that everything you did is wrong to me,in fact, it doesn't
I do not mind what you want to do or where you want to go
or who you want to talk with, it is none of my business
The only thing I care about is how much you love me and show it to me
All I want is show your love to me and I will be able to feel safe all the time
Just don't leave me alone and focus on your stuff
Please do not make me feel that I am all by myself although you're besides me
I might not be able to share your interest, I might not be able to give any opinion to you
Although I know nothing about your world, I still willing to stay in your world and try to accept all
because it is part of you and I know it cant be separated from your life
I might not be the most important person in your heart
But please, try to make me feel I am important to you by showing it
Your action is the best encouragement for me to carry on my journey to catch up with your foot step
I dont need a pro gamer, I only need a lover, from you
To you, you might think that you have done good enough to me
Try to think of it, when is the last time you kiss me? when is the last time you hug me nicely?
When is the last time you flirt with me? When and when, is the last time you said you love me?
All these are simple actions, and yet, it carries huge meaning to me
It shows your love and your attention to me, just show it to me
Like you used to do it at the beginning of our relationship, make me feel love again and all time
I know I have been annoying on this issue, but that is all I want, not materialistic, just you
My love~ you are my everything. I dont care how much I need to sacrifice just for you to say I love you
I shall wait, until the day
I give up on this once most precious relationship and the most important man in my life

多管闲事的结果

难道这次是我太冲动了吗？还是我太多管闲事了？
难道这次真的是我下错了决定吗？
我的苦心，都是为了大局着想，
难道这也算是一种错吗？
要说错，我做得最错的决定就是通知你
一个人有多重要，不是在意他的身份
而是旁人如何看待他
他的存在，是否有意义，
除了当事人的个人修养、资历和性格
还是旁人决定要如何看待他
没有人想要无端端被别人憋得一肚子气
也没有人愿意把事情做得太绝情
你可以说我可以选择不要去理会别人的说法
我的出发点是为了大局着想
既然我能够把道理说通了，你却觉得我不尊重你的话
对不起，我已经尽力了
既然你怪我们多事，你也不能怪我们对你无情
是你看不起我们处理事情的手法
你也不想想，当初我们会想到要找你商量事情
是因为我们觉得你的意见比较中立
也想询问你对事情的看法和见解，
没想到你会觉得如此委屈
以后大家就各走各路，你也看不见我们这眼中钉，心头刺
这样，你开心吗？

失恋的人

和你喜欢的人说再见，真的需要很大的勇气。
为了那么简单的一句话，真的花了很长时间去准备。
当你面对他的时候，却支支吾吾说不出口；
可是当你说出口了，却又当心他心痛受不了。
说出口的时候，又担心自己承受不了。
真的很矛盾，看到他那么心痛，我也心疼了。
我知道如果我不这么绝情，大家也不能分手了。
可是现在我连朋友也不能和你做了，真的很伤心。
我知道你现在很不好受，我也是。
我不能再找你，怕你承受不了再次失去的痛。
我知道你今天请假，没有做工，
看不到你， 我真的很不适应。
你在干吗？为什么没有来上班？
难道你还躲在角落哭吗？不要再伤心了好吗？
我知道是我伤害了你，我也在这里伤心流泪着，
你有看到吗？没有，因为我不想让你看到我这伤心样。
你会隐藏你的悲哀，我也会，
我想让你知道，我没事。
要坚强~

Rainy Night

In this night, I think part of the Earth is having tragedy now. There was a 8.9 earthquake happened in Sumatra, Indonesia, and part of Malaysian was able to feel the shake. There is a warning from the relevant government that there might be a tsunami happened around 9pm, Georgetown and Port Dickson are two of the hit points. Is anything going to be fine? At that moment, I bet everyone was wondering, is it the starting of the end of the world? Is it coming? Nobody knows it.

It is another lonely night for me that cant sleep. It is nothing big deal of, but, I just cant sleep. My body is tired, even my soul is tired, I just cant sleep well at night. I rather open my eyes at the middle of the night and starring at the laptop, do nothing in front of it. Guess I am just an empty shell without a heart. I don't dare to sleep, because I will be having night mares ever since I close my eyes and keep awaken by it. Maybe I am just being too tired, maybe I will be fine after a good rest, but most importantly, I need my darling by my side. I guess I really become more and more dependent on him in daily lives.

The weather seems to know my mood very well. When I am feeling lonely or upset, it will cry on behalf of me. Whenever I step out from indoor, sure it will rain. Now, it is 1.53am and yet, it still rains heavily. Pity Mickey that cant go out and do her business. XD

其实我不快乐

在这两年半里，我的确改变了不少。
我渐渐地找回失去的自己，但是也渐渐的失去你
现在的我应该要成熟的面对问题，可是我做不到
我到现在还是个女孩，永远都长不大的女孩。
我很想好好的做一件事情，可是做不到
我很想证明给全部人看我能够做到
可是却没有人看到
想要好好地陪你，我也做不到
我真的很没有用
能够做的我会尽力去做
你想要的， 我会给你
可是我想要的，却没有人可以给
我只能借着舞台的力量来感觉自己的存在
现在连站在舞台的能力也没有了
我真的很没有用
开心与不开心，又有谁知道