Sem Break -3

You may ask, how am I gonna spend my holiday? Well, I have plenty of plans for this holiday. At the end of the year 2009, I have watched the movie "Avatar" for 3 times. Ya, this is me, a crazy girl that you would never know. I will go kampar sing k with my best friend. She has some problem in her relationship, so I think it is good to bring her out and relax her mind. By the way, I can show her my uni life at kampar. Then, I will go for a crazy trip to Penang Island and Langkawi for about 5 days. I haven't been to Langkawi before. I think this will be an exciting trip for me. Nothing much to say here actually, I just need someone to talk to in this mid night time. Now, I am sitting here alone in front of the laptop, writing this blog, treat it as my best friend and chatting with it. Finally I can understand how my bf's feel by chatting with the laptop and treat it as best friend in life. To me, this is so pathetic; to him, this is the only thing that give him support and bravery to continue with his life. The world that has been created in the laptop has make him feel secure, thats why he chosen the laptop as his most loyal friend in the world. Now, I also depend on laptop to get my time pass. Feeling lonely, upset, secure, this is what I feel at the moment. Deep in dark can cause alot of messy stuff to play in the mind and must learn a way to control it.

Unforgetable X'mas

We wish you a meery christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, and a Happy new year.
Christmas, suppose to be a joyful day, like my darling said. To me, this is the perfect day in the end of the year because this year is my first x'mas celebration, and I spent the whole day with my dearest one. This is so perfect until I make a stupid call to my colleague. At first, I just wanna wish him a merry christmas, but I duno I can cause so much trouble to him. He seems he has some misunderstand with his wife and his wife phoned me to check who am I. I feel so surprise to get her call. I duno what does she want, I just can understand that I have caused myself into other's marriage crisis and yet, I am the cause of all these. A simple wish from a colleague can cause such a trouble on a married man, may I ask what is the meaning of getting marry with our beloved one? I learned one important lesson in this year X'mas. Never mess up with a married man or woman, you are putting yourself into a crisis.

Thought of the Day - 2

I abit in bad mood today, maybe I didn't take enough sleep for last night. Not
much mood for the day, abit short tempered, and I get sad easily. Tonight
maybe another sleepness night for me again as I think of nonsence things,
again.

I not sure whether it is normal for a girl to jealous just because of tiny stuff in
the life, mostly it is relevant with couple. I am feeling not comfortable when
my darling sits in front of the pc and busy with all his stuff online. We have spent 8 hours at cc, after came back to hostel, he already sit in front of the pc as soon as he finished his shower. I know that pc is the best friend for him, but it can be the past of him, right? Start from the beginning, I knew I was not at the first rank in his heart, and I will never be anyway. For him, family is in the first rank, secondly is the pc, I usually is in the third rank. Shouldn't he cares more about me rather than sleeping time or dining time? Even sleeping i also get frustrated. I so desperate that I can sleep before him, sleep tight in his hug, but this will only occur in my dream, not just for now, but forever. I know I can't sleep before him because I wanna make sure that he is sleeping well, sleeps under safe situation, make sure he is not being interruptted. Everything I do is just for him. Nowadays, I not just live for myself, but I live for him. He is the one that brings me out of the dark world of my heart, saved me from my past. I don't even dare to ask any request from him because I know what I have now is more than enough. I do not mean to complain or blaming, I just wanna express what is in my mind now. I just need a path to let it out of my mind. I shouldn't jealous with a pc anyway, right? =p

Rock my holiday

Today is my last exam paper and I think I have done it quite well. Hehe. After two nights suffered from running nose and study, I hope that I can score better this semester.  Who knows what kind of result that I gonna get? Bad result? Or just pass? Oh well, I will be glad for what I get because I have tried my very best to do it.

So, what is my plan for this sem break? Eventually I don't know. I plan to work part time here but I not able to do so because my parent resists it. Most of the time I will be staying at home and be my dear cousin's baby sitter. During X'mas, my darling has asked me for a date. So sweet....can't wait for the day to come.=p

Talking about my relationship, I in a very good and sweet relationship. I have to admit that I really changed alot in this semester. Usually I ll go out rather than staying at home, attend friend's gathering, and I seldom cook. Now, I would cook for my darling, stay at home with him, pay all my attention on him, seldom think of nonsense things. I have get rid most of my bad habits,well, like I aways say, a small change from bad to the good is better than none. =p

Lastly, wish myself and everone, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

Anything after my new hair style

There is someone told me that when you really love a person, you won't care how does he or she look like, what you like is her characteristics and the way he or she is. Unfortunately, this sentence seems do not make any sense on me. After I cut my hair short, everyone around me feels different when they look at me, same to my darling. I understand he likes my long hair, but since I came back to his side, everything changes. I don't even dare to ask for more of his attention, I just feel all alone by myself. I just dare to be next to him and sit there quietly, do my stuff quietly, actually I don't have much things to do. I know he dislikes my new hair style, I really don't mean to cut it that way. A change in hair style can bring me such a big difference in my life, I feel like I have go back to the olden days whereby I am alone in my own world. I know I shouldn't have such negative thinking all the time but I can't control my mind not to think of this bull shit. He wants a normal,quiet life, I don't know what's wrong with his life nowadays, all I know is he has his own thoughts and he won't let it down easily and listen to others. Thats the problem...I guess. This is his burden and he has to let it down so that he will not feel stress anymore.

Importance of Your smile

I dun like to c ur face without any expression. I just wanna make you laugh and yet, I made you laugh non stop. After a moment, you cry by aside. I was thinking, what did I do? I tried so hard to make you laugh, but I failed. I heard the sound you hit the wall, it just like you r hitting my heart, my heart was pain once you hit the wall. I wonder why. What makes you feel so bad? You just keep on saying it is your fault. I wonder why. There is no reason for you to say so. Like you said before, I rather you tell me the truth than you injure yourself. There is no difference as you r hurting me with a knife. Your smile represents your mood, your joy makes my day.