Lonely nite

Tonight the time passes slowly. I have vomitted two times. I vomit as I eat. Quite suffer. What's wrong with my stomach o? This is not the most suffer one, the most suffer stuff is I am having a sleepness night again. Haiz...I spend my time by watching drama through youtube. I wanna get someone to chat with me but everyone is sleeping. Why can't I just sleep o?

Today, I will go home for dinner with my darling. This is the first time I bring bf home for dinner. For your information, this home is my grandma's home, not my mother home. I like my grandma so much, more than anyone in the house. I don't know how am I gonna introduce my darling to them. I can't let them know he is my bf. Oh well...I guess my aunt knows it very well since she has invited us to go back for dinner, doesn't she? I wonder how they will act if I intro my darling to them...am I gonna get scold? Or they just act normal? I wanna intro my darling to them so much but I know I can't do that. If I do so, I can't stay at kampar and study. Sure I will have to stay at home and watch by my mum. Since I scare to be scolded, then why still I step my foot into the trap? I don't know, all I know is I love him and I wanna be with him, no matter what it costs, no matter how hard is it, I will just take it, just like how he loves me. He can sacrifice anything for me, why can't I? Both of us have paid for this relationship, aren't we?

First Date In Sem 3

My chubby darling..
so innocent..^^










24/11/2009 I will remember this date, this day is the only day I saw your cheerful smile for this sem. Since the starting of this sem, you seldom smile because of your study and some relation problem. I have tried to be the most perfect gf in this date and I think I have succeed, right? From your smile, I knew how happy you are at that moment, this is what we call "xing fu" in mandarin. Same as you darling, I will do whatever I can to make you happy, although I won't love you in the way you expected. I believe everyone has his own way to show his love. I use the most simple way to show my love to you, make you smile. You may not know how powerful is your smile, I know. Your smile makes me happy for the whole day. I just wanna let you know, I love you as deep as you love me.






Movie "2012" is the best movie that I ever watched. It talks about how the world ends, how the world starts a new life, the importance of humanity and family support in a crisis. No wonder every show is full and we have to make booking very early but still we get the 2nd most front seats. I sat there for 2 and a half hour until my butt is ache, I can't even walk at first.oh well, as long as it worthy, right? =.=

Thoughts of the day - 1

Yesterday, 3 utarians dead while playing at kampar waterfall. I knew one of them, James Khor. I feel sad. why? Because I have lost a friend? Not really. I am sad because I can't understand why God likes to give test to human. Is it because human is too weak? or He wanna know who is the best among human?

These days I have heavy headache, usually it occurs on the right side. It is so pain and yet, it disappears after few minutes, then it comes back again. Maybe it is because I don't have enough sleep, or I have been too tired, it is trying to tell me that I need a good rest now.

Tomorrow is my presentation, yet, I haven't finish my part of work. I really don't know what should I write, I have lost my mind, my confidence, my ideas. I really try my best to do it but I fail. All I do is trying to run away from all this. Maybe I just go and sleep. Everything will be just fine as I wake up.

Can I run forever? Someone asked me this question before. I knew I can't run, I have to face it no matter what. Family, work, study, interest, relationship, there is so many things that I haven't do yet, I am exhausted. It seems like my body can't take over anymore,it will shut down at any minutes.