Last week, i went through a tough time wif my relationship. It seems like there is problems occured but I just can't figured it out, at the end, i ended up so stupid. What am I to you? Who are you to me? Is this important? Why you feel you're not my boyfriend? Is friend more important than you do? There is so many questions to answer and yet, I am helpness when I am facing these stupid questions.To me,these questions are dump ass...to you, they might be important.
First of all, You, Daniel, is my beloved one. I am sure you know it but you just can't feel it just because of my personality. I have done many things just to make you happy. I cooked for you just to see your happy smile, in fact, it made me feel happy and satisfy at the moment you finish the dishes. This is the first time I can feel the happiness from my cooking. You have proved that I can do it although I don't like to cook. This has showed how much do I care about you.
In my opinion, friends are more important than couple. You may wonder why is it so. I'll tell you what. I gain safety and self-satisfaction by caring my best friend and people around me. I lack of protection since I was a child. Whenever there is something bad happened, friends always the one that help me solve them. You may feel the way I treat friends is much more better than the way I treat you, I just can say:" Im SORRY my dear..."
Last Saturday night, we went to your best friend's party. When I saw the Poodle, I wanna play with it and yet, you have stopped me from continue playing with it just because it is dirty!!! You made me feel I am a little girl in the party and not your girl friend. You also knew that I can't mix well with other girls and yet, you still wanted me to join their conversation. I will look so stupid if I listen to you and join into their conversation. Can't you feel it? I wanna play ping pong with those guys, but I knew you might not happy with it so I didn't even dare to ask. I have to control myself for not being so rude in the party and even in front of you.
I have a bad conversation with my parents and other family members. I know they just care about me but I feel like I wanna run away from them. I hate family, especially when they concern about moral value and a lot of stuffs that they even can't realize it in life. For what they tell me all the bull shit since they can't even practice it? They always say that they love me, but is it love when a mother's duty is to cook and do all the housework for us and didn't even care about what plays in our mind? This has made up me of nowadays. I rather remain silence than voice out eveything. because everything I said never being bother by anyone in the family. What I think about family is its just a hotel for me to rest and get prepare for tomorrow. I dont even feel family's warm from my parent. This is why I rather be alone than couple. When I am alone, no one will betray me, no one will ignore me, no one will gonna hurt me either. It feels sucks when you have been hurted since you were young. This is why I am here by myself.........
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