Exhausted

Recently, I don't really have much time to rest or sleep. i only focus on work and press conference. Once again, I ignore my personally life, especially to my beloved one. Sometimes, I wish I could have more time for me in a day so that I can do anything I want and it is always enough time for me to rest, work and play. To you, I may be silly. Why I always like to make my life so hard? I work because I don't want to depend on my family in finance. I study because I don't want them to disappoint on me. Most of the time, I feel like I want to run away from my life and be another person in certain sense. There is many pressure come from nowhere that keep on telling me what am I suppose to do and what not to do. Study, work and family, makes me tired and exhausted.

There are many times where I wanted to help in assignments but somehow, I never feel like I am part of it. Maybe it is my problem for being stranger in the community, it is partially my fault for excluding myself to mix with the community. Is it because of my looking? Why my look always be the resistance for me to mix around? I admit that I look ego, in fact, it is not my fault to have such a face.

After working and studying for few weeks, I totally exhausted. What I need now is to have good rest after the mob press conference and get myself out of work, I want to go travel.

你知道吗？我的泪

当我孤独的时候，你知道吗?



当我被你忽略了，你知道吗?


当我需要被关心，你知道吗?


当我需要你的爱，你知道吗?


你都不知道，因为你不曾在乎


我所需要的，对我来说，有多重要



你常以自我为中心，而我则在你旁边轴自转


我已经转得天翻地覆，却得不到你的倾睬


转得累了，心疲力尽，无法再绕着你转了


天地已经到了尽头，我也随之消失于黑洞里


我消失的那一刻，你可曾发现？我的泪

What Is Leader?

At this stage, I do believe everyone is the leader of himself or herself, and yet, at the same time, they are also a leader of others, either in their study, working or family life. Everyone has the ability to be a leader, but how to become an effective and efficient leader?

From what I have studied in Team Building before, leader is the person which has the social ability to influence others to follow his foot step or order to do or act under his command. according to Alan Keith, leadership is the ultimate way to create a new path for people to contribute in certain things in order to make extraordinary stuff or miracle to happen. It also means the leader has the responsibility in organizing people to work together and how to achieve the goal together, too. At the same time, a leader knows how to take care of his team mates and not just only take them as tools to achieve the company's goal or the leader's goal.

Take me as an example, I ain't a good leader because I don't have the ability to do so. This has been proved since I had the first and second meeting with my teammates. What I did was trying to force them to focus on our issue and not used my heart to hear what they wanted to say. I understand that everyone is being nervous towards his or hers assignments, so do I. I was just trying to make our job easier and in fact, it has proved me wrong. A good leader will listen to his team's mind and not just focus on tasks and goals. I admit I ain't a good leader. So, I decided to be the leader of myself only. I believe I will be a successful leader of the society in some day in future.

Here, I want to say "Thank you" to my friends who tell me what am I facing from my teammates because you have given me a clear looking on my own and the team itself. Now, I know what they want and I will step back from the front line. Let the new leader to give the order. I can understand it if there is someone might say I am a coward because I don't dare to take the challenge. What can I say here is, My friend, this ain't about am I a coward or not, it is about how I respect myself as a leader of the team and myself.

大海

曾经何时
我听过这首歌

大海 杨培安


从那遥远海边
慢慢消失的你
本来模糊的脸
竟然渐渐清晰
想要说些什么
又不知从何说起
只有把它放在心里

茫然走在海边
看那潮来潮去
徒劳无功想把
每朵浪花记清
想要说声爱你
却被吹散在风里
猛然回头你在哪里

如果大海能够
唤回曾经的爱
就让我用一生等待
如果深情往事
你已不再留恋
就让它随风飘远

如果大海能够
带走我的哀愁
就像带走一条河流
所有受过的伤
所有流过的泪
我的爱
已全部带走


在这首歌里，表达了对爱情的绝望。在对某段的爱情感到绝望和气馁，大海起了很好的作用来把所有的悲伤带入海的怀抱。作者引用了大海作为爱情的结束，就像大海把全部的河流牵引至它的怀抱。大海本一望无际，绝望由此而生，也在此结束。用此来结束某段爱情，再贴切不过。

Time Flys

It has been awhile for not being here. Recently I am busy with my first chinese orchestra concert in UTAR and new subjects that I am taking now. There is many things to learn and so much to do at a time, I feel very stressful and exhausted. To me, all this efford will bring me the achievement in future, all I need now is my intention to work on them and be patient. I do believe hard work will bring me good achievement.


Time flys without my notification. This is the eleventh month since we get together. There are many things happened within this period, all the happiness, sadness and misunderstandings have brought us into another level of the relationship. All these have made us grew up and stabalize our relationship. The more time we spend time together, the more my love to you darling.


Usually, we seldom tell each other how much is our love, maybe this is the only reason why we seldom talk to each other. I prefer to be your listener, one and the only one. I like to hear your voice, this is why I remain silence all the time. I know you want me to talk with you, but I really can't talk much when I am with you. I know I have very little time for you everyday because I have to spend a lot of time for other stuffs, and I am so sorry about this darling. This is also another reason why I like to listen to you rather than talking with you.


Here is the end for this blog, I jz want to tell everyone here that read my blog how much is my love to you. Love you always darling.

Starting 2nd sem of Year one in PR course

After study at UTAR for two and a half years, finally i managed to score above 3.0 in cgpa. Now, I have started my second semester in PR course, hopefully I manage to maintain such a good result. In this sem, I need to prepare for chinese orchestra concert. For your information, this is the first time for the UTAR chinese orchestra unit to organize a concert and it has been long time for me to perform in a concert. During sem break, I attended everyday's practice from 9am til 4pm, just to practice and prepare ourselves for the concert. This is not as same as the previous concerts that I attended in secondary school, so I need to be prepared and do my best for the concert.

Tell you guys something. I am learning how to play "World of Warcraft" (WOW) from my bf and housemates. My bf has suit my character with the best gear and equipments and yet, I am still a newbie to this game, thus, I need a lot of training to catch up with them. It is a tough task for me as a noob gamer and for someone that don't know about WOW. Today is my second day for playing WOW and also the first time to play with my bf and housemates. I feel like I am a burden for them because I barely catch up with their steps and it is quite tough for me to play with such a good character. Oh well...everything has its starting point to start with, right?

On the other hand, because of WOW, I start losing self confidence because I really stress out. I play WOW because of my bf. I just want to get into his world and be with him all the time, but I knew it will never happened. Sometimes, I might think of boycourt WOW and stop my bf from playing it. I never stop him from doing anything that he likes, as long as he has time for me, but not like I am staying in the room with him and do nothing. This makes me feel boring and don't know what to do and start thinking nonsense. Maybe I am thinking and talking nonsense again....I had what girls wanted all the time, what else that I am asking for? There should be nothing...

心痛

你能够对我坦白，我很开心。到头来你的坦白却换来我们之间的吵架和愤怒，我知道是我小气，我没有肚量去接受这事实。那是因为我只在乎你一个，你是属于我的，我不希望有人把你抢走。你可能有听过“有一种爱叫做放手”，如果真的有一天，这天真的到来，我不知道我会不会把我的手放开。你曾经放开我的手，我很庆幸那时的我没有选择放开。今天，面对同样的情况，我还是不会放手的。虽然我的心好痛，我很不喜欢有别的女生接近你，因为我不想失去你。你是我的全部，因为你，我学会把我爱的人放在第一位。我真的很感谢你对我的坦白，只是我无法承受这犹如一把刀往我心里刺的心痛。你的一举一动，都能够影响我的心情，甚至是一生的幸福。从你的身上，我学会了把自己稳定下来，尽量不要再放纵自己。只有你，才会让我改变得如此之快，也如此温驯。我只会为你而改，我只会为你而活，我只会为你而爱。