Starting 2nd sem of Year one in PR course

After study at UTAR for two and a half years, finally i managed to score above 3.0 in cgpa. Now, I have started my second semester in PR course, hopefully I manage to maintain such a good result. In this sem, I need to prepare for chinese orchestra concert. For your information, this is the first time for the UTAR chinese orchestra unit to organize a concert and it has been long time for me to perform in a concert. During sem break, I attended everyday's practice from 9am til 4pm, just to practice and prepare ourselves for the concert. This is not as same as the previous concerts that I attended in secondary school, so I need to be prepared and do my best for the concert.

Tell you guys something. I am learning how to play "World of Warcraft" (WOW) from my bf and housemates. My bf has suit my character with the best gear and equipments and yet, I am still a newbie to this game, thus, I need a lot of training to catch up with them. It is a tough task for me as a noob gamer and for someone that don't know about WOW. Today is my second day for playing WOW and also the first time to play with my bf and housemates. I feel like I am a burden for them because I barely catch up with their steps and it is quite tough for me to play with such a good character. Oh well...everything has its starting point to start with, right?

On the other hand, because of WOW, I start losing self confidence because I really stress out. I play WOW because of my bf. I just want to get into his world and be with him all the time, but I knew it will never happened. Sometimes, I might think of boycourt WOW and stop my bf from playing it. I never stop him from doing anything that he likes, as long as he has time for me, but not like I am staying in the room with him and do nothing. This makes me feel boring and don't know what to do and start thinking nonsense. Maybe I am thinking and talking nonsense again....I had what girls wanted all the time, what else that I am asking for? There should be nothing...

心痛

你能够对我坦白，我很开心。到头来你的坦白却换来我们之间的吵架和愤怒，我知道是我小气，我没有肚量去接受这事实。那是因为我只在乎你一个，你是属于我的，我不希望有人把你抢走。你可能有听过“有一种爱叫做放手”，如果真的有一天，这天真的到来，我不知道我会不会把我的手放开。你曾经放开我的手，我很庆幸那时的我没有选择放开。今天，面对同样的情况，我还是不会放手的。虽然我的心好痛，我很不喜欢有别的女生接近你，因为我不想失去你。你是我的全部，因为你，我学会把我爱的人放在第一位。我真的很感谢你对我的坦白，只是我无法承受这犹如一把刀往我心里刺的心痛。你的一举一动，都能够影响我的心情，甚至是一生的幸福。从你的身上，我学会了把自己稳定下来，尽量不要再放纵自己。只有你，才会让我改变得如此之快，也如此温驯。我只会为你而改，我只会为你而活，我只会为你而爱。

FIrst Sem Break For 2010

Finally it has come to the end of the first semester, this is the moment that every student is waiting for. Usually what will a student do in holiday? Work as part timer? Stay at home? Go for vacation? This is life, lets make it more interesting! I don't know how you guys spend your holiday, I'll just tell you mine. To me, it is my life and I'm happy with it.

As usual, I work at DDS, which is one of the cyber cafe in Kampar. In fact, I am a runner for both DDS and Khakabo.Working is tiring me, but I am happy to work with them because I get to know more people and I even meet my friends that have not been seeing for a period. Another reason why I work at cyber cafe is because the working time is more flexible and I can make time adjustment between my study and working time. Although the wage is not high, it is just enough for my rental.

At the last week of the sem break, I will be even busy and tired. Why? Because I need to attend chinese orchestra camp from 25-29th May, from 9am til 4pm, then I need to work from 4pm til 12am. You may think I am crazy and I admit it, this is the only way for me not to think too much when I am alone. I hate to be home alone.

You may ask, how about my home? I can say, I don't want to go back, it is like jail, that's why I don't like to go home. Why would I say home is like a jail? This is because mum seldom let me go out and I only do nothing at home but online until I wanna vomit. Another thing is they seldom talk to me nicely. I have to make it clear that all my family members are grumpy person, including me, sometimes they make me feel like I live in jail because of their way of speaking and grumpy personality. I just wanna run away from it. Family is important, but I am sorry that I not that kind of person which can stay at home for 24 hours everyday. I need my life and freedom. They never understand how I feel, or maybe not, god knows.

At last, I will go for vacation to Cameron Highland next week. MUAHAHAHAHA. This is the first time I am going vacation with my bf and classmates since I study at UTAR 2 years ago. I still planning where to go and what to do. There is many things to do and yet, so little time for me to do all of them, I just can say, have fun then. Life is short and lets us appreciate what we have at the moment. Enjoy your time and HAPPY HOLIDAY MY FRIENDS! =P

世界上最爱你的人，也是世界上最伤心的人

我知道你能够看得懂我接下来要写的文章，我不敢奢望在你看了这文章后会有回头的一刻，我只希望你能够清楚知道我在想什么，我想要的是什么。


可能你和我都不曾想过咱们会走在一起，究竟是什么让我们走在一起？相信你我心中都没有答案，但是我们都相信彼此心中的感觉。彼此都是爱着对方的，所以才会想让彼此存在于各自的世界里，因为只有让对方活在自己的世界里，才能用自己的全部来保护对方，不让他受伤。当自己爱上一个人时，心里只想着要如何让他时刻都开心，而不会让他伤心。人非神圣，总会有犯错的时候，也会有情绪的。当你犯了错，我只会心痛，我不会骂你，不管是什么错，我都会原谅你，包容你所做的一切，甚至把全部不开心的事全忘掉。可能有的人会说我这么做是在逃避，我只能告诉全部人，我这么做是让我们的生活更轻松，不会有任何的负担，生活才会更好过，不是吗？


爱一个人，并不需要他的甜言蜜语，也不需要任何付出的证明书，只要心里是爱着彼此的，就已经足够了。既然我已经打开心房的门让你进去成为其中的一分子，就表示我已经全面接受你所有的弱点和优点。你不会说的甜言蜜语，我帮你说。你想要做的事，我会想办法去完成。这就是我爱你的方式。我和你一样，都是不善于表达的人，我只能通过行动来表示。很傻是吗？你也是如此的，不是吗？


不知不觉，我们在一起快要一年了。此时此刻你说你不曾告诉我你有多爱我，但是我都能知道你的爱有多深。时间长了，相处的日子长了，彼此都了解对方的性格与脾气，很多时候都会变得沉默寡言，彼此都不会特地去表达心中所想。可是很多时候，误会，就是这样产生的。可能我是属于比较静的人，而你也不会特意的表达心中的想法，所以误会才会发生吧。


不管怎么说，我们都是受过伤的人，保护自己是本能反应。任何人都会想要被爱，任何人都会想要爱上其他人。刚开始我们都是战战兢兢的爱，到后来是放开怀抱来爱，这过程是需要时间的，慢慢来，好吗？你总是爱对我说些傻话，我也一笑置之。因为你的傻话，我知道你爱我。世界上最爱你的人，也是世界上最开心、最伤心的人，认同吗？

看了妹妹的部落格，才知道自己忽略了许多事

看了妹妹的部落格，才知道自己忽略了许多事

自己曾经忽略了心爱的人的一举一动
就连自己曾经经历的一切都忘掉
我不是有意去把全部事情都忘掉
只是潜意识里帮我做了个决定
它， 让我的生活更轻松

一生当中难免会有被我们遗忘的人或事
就在乎它会在什么时候被勾起
有开心的，也有悲伤的
不要被身边的事约束着
敢做敢当  生活才会更精彩
被身边事物约束着的生活 犹如被囚禁
每日规规矩矩的生活  活在只属于自己的世界
这样的生活  犹如行尸走肉 不要也罢

身边被忽略的事
无非是曾经自己最在意的事

难忘的一幕

在台上的我
有点傲慢


在台上的你
有点孩子气


在台下的我
漫无边际
流浪在人海中
眼睛始终离不开
在台上的你


在台下的你
犹如孩子般
玩得不亦乐乎
像个大孩子般
台上台下的你
不知是否也有留意到
站台下    我的眼光


在台下的我
时刻都在留意着
你的一举一动
你的表情
无意中渐渐钩起以往的回忆
不知你是否也是有同感？

迷惑

爱情，让人欢喜，让人忧愁。它所带来的，不仅是欢乐，还夹着悲伤。感情，涉及两个截然不同的世界。它拥有神奇的力量，能够让两个人互相分享他们的世界，同时也能够摧毁两个人的世界。幸福，能够让一个人沉迷于它的甜蜜，令人难以自拔。就像染上毒瘾，一旦没有了幸福，那他就会像吸毒者那样痛不欲生。在这三者当中，共存在着一个共同点，就是要如何准确的衡量当中的成分，才能让自己不会深陷其中呢？相信在很多人的心中都没有办法衡量出来。



举个例子，我看着叔叔打行动不便的爷爷，只因为爷爷一直在拿二十年前他借钱给叔叔的事说个不停。当时的我心里真的很害怕，即使我有勇气能够当在爷爷面前不让叔叔继续打他，可是这事让我对这个家彻底的失望。当一个家庭里，姐妹吵架时，往往是水火不容的，可是过后就会和好如初。这是因为她们都知道，彼此就是这么存在着，就在这一辈子，彼此的身上都存有彼此的影子。她们会与彼此分享她们的世界，同时又不会伤害到彼此。可是为什么有些时候彼此之间又会吵得面红耳侧呢？当中的原因不过是为了钱财和感情的纠纷而无法作出妥协，进而摧毁整个家庭的和谐，这又何苦呢？


家庭的不和谐，会让下一代养成叛逆与负面的性格，例如脾气暴躁、出言顶撞父母和不想回家。家长只会怪孩子的不孝顺，可是他们有没有想过要和孩子好好沟通？在东方国家，很少家庭能够做到坦诚对白，因为他们从小就在孩子心中印下了父母威严的样子，令孩子不敢坦诚相对。要如何才能够解决这问题呢？这又是一个很深的学问，相信很少人能够领悟当中的无穷的学问吧。


当一个男生遇上一个让他倾心的女生时，他会想尽办法让她对他多看一眼。他也会想尽办法，让女士喜欢上他。如果那女生答应与他交往，这就是最朴素的爱情，也是最短暂的爱情，因为这时的他们正沉迷于感情的甜蜜，缺少成熟处理事情的脑袋，往往这时候的恋人都是意气用事的，进而做了让自己一辈子都后悔的事情。这又是为了什么呢？何苦让自己那么的狼狈？

当一个女生和一个成熟且懂得尊重女生的男生在一起，这会是很甜蜜且窝心的感情，同时也是最空虚的感情。通常这种男生的事业心很重，很多时候他的心思都会放在女生以外的事物上。虽然这男生很会讨女生的芳心，但是他有没有想过女生往往就只想要他一个人的全部的注意力？哪怕只是一个吻、一个简单的拥抱、一个 笑容，都足以让她开心一整天。这点男生又知不知道呢？很多时候男生只会说他们无法理解女生的心里到底在想什么，那么他们又有没有尝试让女生进入他们的心里了解他们的想法呢？


沉默，往往是最好的武器。它可以让人与人之间产生纠纷，让情况一发不可收拾。沉默，往往被拿来作吵架时的武器，这让双方的局面变得僵硬，彼此都无法下阶。试问问什么要保持沉默？为了保全自己的利益？还是给彼此一个冷静的机会？我也不知道，因为我也是沉默的拥护者。可能这就是造成迷惑的诞生吧。