Thought of the Day - 2

I abit in bad mood today, maybe I didn't take enough sleep for last night. Not
much mood for the day, abit short tempered, and I get sad easily. Tonight
maybe another sleepness night for me again as I think of nonsence things,
again.

I not sure whether it is normal for a girl to jealous just because of tiny stuff in
the life, mostly it is relevant with couple. I am feeling not comfortable when
my darling sits in front of the pc and busy with all his stuff online. We have spent 8 hours at cc, after came back to hostel, he already sit in front of the pc as soon as he finished his shower. I know that pc is the best friend for him, but it can be the past of him, right? Start from the beginning, I knew I was not at the first rank in his heart, and I will never be anyway. For him, family is in the first rank, secondly is the pc, I usually is in the third rank. Shouldn't he cares more about me rather than sleeping time or dining time? Even sleeping i also get frustrated. I so desperate that I can sleep before him, sleep tight in his hug, but this will only occur in my dream, not just for now, but forever. I know I can't sleep before him because I wanna make sure that he is sleeping well, sleeps under safe situation, make sure he is not being interruptted. Everything I do is just for him. Nowadays, I not just live for myself, but I live for him. He is the one that brings me out of the dark world of my heart, saved me from my past. I don't even dare to ask any request from him because I know what I have now is more than enough. I do not mean to complain or blaming, I just wanna express what is in my mind now. I just need a path to let it out of my mind. I shouldn't jealous with a pc anyway, right? =p

Rock my holiday

Today is my last exam paper and I think I have done it quite well. Hehe. After two nights suffered from running nose and study, I hope that I can score better this semester.  Who knows what kind of result that I gonna get? Bad result? Or just pass? Oh well, I will be glad for what I get because I have tried my very best to do it.

So, what is my plan for this sem break? Eventually I don't know. I plan to work part time here but I not able to do so because my parent resists it. Most of the time I will be staying at home and be my dear cousin's baby sitter. During X'mas, my darling has asked me for a date. So sweet....can't wait for the day to come.=p

Talking about my relationship, I in a very good and sweet relationship. I have to admit that I really changed alot in this semester. Usually I ll go out rather than staying at home, attend friend's gathering, and I seldom cook. Now, I would cook for my darling, stay at home with him, pay all my attention on him, seldom think of nonsense things. I have get rid most of my bad habits,well, like I aways say, a small change from bad to the good is better than none. =p

Lastly, wish myself and everone, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

Anything after my new hair style

There is someone told me that when you really love a person, you won't care how does he or she look like, what you like is her characteristics and the way he or she is. Unfortunately, this sentence seems do not make any sense on me. After I cut my hair short, everyone around me feels different when they look at me, same to my darling. I understand he likes my long hair, but since I came back to his side, everything changes. I don't even dare to ask for more of his attention, I just feel all alone by myself. I just dare to be next to him and sit there quietly, do my stuff quietly, actually I don't have much things to do. I know he dislikes my new hair style, I really don't mean to cut it that way. A change in hair style can bring me such a big difference in my life, I feel like I have go back to the olden days whereby I am alone in my own world. I know I shouldn't have such negative thinking all the time but I can't control my mind not to think of this bull shit. He wants a normal,quiet life, I don't know what's wrong with his life nowadays, all I know is he has his own thoughts and he won't let it down easily and listen to others. Thats the problem...I guess. This is his burden and he has to let it down so that he will not feel stress anymore.

Importance of Your smile

I dun like to c ur face without any expression. I just wanna make you laugh and yet, I made you laugh non stop. After a moment, you cry by aside. I was thinking, what did I do? I tried so hard to make you laugh, but I failed. I heard the sound you hit the wall, it just like you r hitting my heart, my heart was pain once you hit the wall. I wonder why. What makes you feel so bad? You just keep on saying it is your fault. I wonder why. There is no reason for you to say so. Like you said before, I rather you tell me the truth than you injure yourself. There is no difference as you r hurting me with a knife. Your smile represents your mood, your joy makes my day.

Lonely nite

Tonight the time passes slowly. I have vomitted two times. I vomit as I eat. Quite suffer. What's wrong with my stomach o? This is not the most suffer one, the most suffer stuff is I am having a sleepness night again. Haiz...I spend my time by watching drama through youtube. I wanna get someone to chat with me but everyone is sleeping. Why can't I just sleep o?

Today, I will go home for dinner with my darling. This is the first time I bring bf home for dinner. For your information, this home is my grandma's home, not my mother home. I like my grandma so much, more than anyone in the house. I don't know how am I gonna introduce my darling to them. I can't let them know he is my bf. Oh well...I guess my aunt knows it very well since she has invited us to go back for dinner, doesn't she? I wonder how they will act if I intro my darling to them...am I gonna get scold? Or they just act normal? I wanna intro my darling to them so much but I know I can't do that. If I do so, I can't stay at kampar and study. Sure I will have to stay at home and watch by my mum. Since I scare to be scolded, then why still I step my foot into the trap? I don't know, all I know is I love him and I wanna be with him, no matter what it costs, no matter how hard is it, I will just take it, just like how he loves me. He can sacrifice anything for me, why can't I? Both of us have paid for this relationship, aren't we?

First Date In Sem 3

My chubby darling..
so innocent..^^










24/11/2009 I will remember this date, this day is the only day I saw your cheerful smile for this sem. Since the starting of this sem, you seldom smile because of your study and some relation problem. I have tried to be the most perfect gf in this date and I think I have succeed, right? From your smile, I knew how happy you are at that moment, this is what we call "xing fu" in mandarin. Same as you darling, I will do whatever I can to make you happy, although I won't love you in the way you expected. I believe everyone has his own way to show his love. I use the most simple way to show my love to you, make you smile. You may not know how powerful is your smile, I know. Your smile makes me happy for the whole day. I just wanna let you know, I love you as deep as you love me.






Movie "2012" is the best movie that I ever watched. It talks about how the world ends, how the world starts a new life, the importance of humanity and family support in a crisis. No wonder every show is full and we have to make booking very early but still we get the 2nd most front seats. I sat there for 2 and a half hour until my butt is ache, I can't even walk at first.oh well, as long as it worthy, right? =.=

Thoughts of the day - 1

Yesterday, 3 utarians dead while playing at kampar waterfall. I knew one of them, James Khor. I feel sad. why? Because I have lost a friend? Not really. I am sad because I can't understand why God likes to give test to human. Is it because human is too weak? or He wanna know who is the best among human?

These days I have heavy headache, usually it occurs on the right side. It is so pain and yet, it disappears after few minutes, then it comes back again. Maybe it is because I don't have enough sleep, or I have been too tired, it is trying to tell me that I need a good rest now.

Tomorrow is my presentation, yet, I haven't finish my part of work. I really don't know what should I write, I have lost my mind, my confidence, my ideas. I really try my best to do it but I fail. All I do is trying to run away from all this. Maybe I just go and sleep. Everything will be just fine as I wake up.

Can I run forever? Someone asked me this question before. I knew I can't run, I have to face it no matter what. Family, work, study, interest, relationship, there is so many things that I haven't do yet, I am exhausted. It seems like my body can't take over anymore,it will shut down at any minutes.